dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Randomize
