Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize