is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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