i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
