dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
