Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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