i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
