..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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