i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
