So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
