i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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