I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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