y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I deserve this hangover.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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