question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
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