I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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