first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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