i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize