Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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