out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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