there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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