she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Randomize
