I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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