im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
