wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
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