WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
