From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
