READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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