have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
