im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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