Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Randomize
