I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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