Joe is yelling at the trees again.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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