I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
