My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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