Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize
