doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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