just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize