Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
