i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
