My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
