NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
