At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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