I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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