Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
