this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
