I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
