I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize