she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
