Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
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