i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize