I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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