Will you blow on my dice?
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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