Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I feel like a drive thru vagina
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
