also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
