My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
