You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
