Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize