I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
