@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I still have a little drunk in my system
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
