I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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