But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
